MomoのKokoro

Things weren't as bad as i'd feared, although the encounters with db and jp are best forgotten. Amb was nice enough to cheer me up, and reminded me of the importance of being aware of the socio-economic discourse, and my acknowledgement of the sacrifices and consequences of my participation. It's scary to know that I go into all of this fully aware that, to put it in mildly dramatic tones, most of the people here have sold their souls and not a few ideals. But what is the respect from others worth, if it is a respect predicated largely on the acquisition of material goods?

After meeting the people who run the show at s&t, i know i'm not cut out for all that nonsense. All those egos are something i can do without. Learning the truth about DQ also left me feeling sad. But it's better to know early on right now, then to have to find out in a moment when they would have really mattered.

The past few days have been very exciting, tiring and challenging. I loved being in a suit again. Contrary to what some people think, i don't believe that a suit stifles your individuality. There's something very attractive in the silhouette of a person wearing a well-cut, pressed, sharp suit. I loved being so busy that I didn't have time to worry about meals. I loved getting out of this town and being in a different environment, and being able to imagine that I was back home in Japan, outsider but yet not so.

Met Af there. Should I have done something the third time? It's too late for regrets now, but Af was my type: super-confident (even with a hint of arrogance), ambitious, tall, east asian, older. Perhaps we shall meet again.

The start of another week. Now i go into the last stretch of the semester a little weary, a little wiser, battle-scarred but still alive. I know that I'm going to end up somehow linked to ib but not through s&t. We'll see how everything goes.

Posted in: work on Monday, November 20, 2006 at