3 years, and then.
Am curled up on the couch in the living room (yes, one of the privileges of living off-campus), safe and warm. It's cold, windy and grey outside.. not exactly my favourite weather. I like autumn, but it means that winter is near. And winter makes me so sad.
The past few days have been good. I was forced to step out of my comfort zone a couple of times, but I ended up making new friends. Renewing ties with those who have changed, as I have, over the past year.
It was unsettling for me to meet up with J again. We both had certain ideas of each other from two years ago, and there had been friction. I didn't expect to see him again so soon, but I did, a few days ago. There was a certain surprise when we made eye contact. The dynamics have changed, though. In that moment, there was a tacit acknowledgement that things would be different.
Sometimes self-knowledge can be so- trying. But it is too late to turn back to the blind safety of ignorance and of convention.
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